I'll Miss Her

BATES-SKARDA, Ronna


Ronna was born June 20, 1958 in Sacramento, Ca. and entered into rest on March 13, 2008 in Danville, Ca. She was 49. Ronna was taken after a short battle with Metastatic Pancreatic Cancer. She is survived by husband Stephen, sons Jason (wife Tara), Sam, and Skyler, daughter Danale (husband Justin), and five grandchildren. Ronna grew up in the Sacramento area, moving to Danville, Ca in 1996 with husband Stephen. Ronna made a career of being a loving mother with children ranging in age from 33 to 5. She was a wonderful and caring daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. She truly made this earth a brighter place and will remain close to our hearts forever. Funeral services will be held at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, 2949 Stone Valley Rd., Alamo, CA at 10AM, Wed. March 19, 2008. Burial services will be held at Fair Oaks Cemetery, 7780 Olive St., Fair Oaks, CA at 2:30PM, Wed. March 19, 2008.



I wasn't sure if I wanted to write anything about this in my blog, but since I'm using it like my journal, I thought I should. Ronna Skarda's funeral was yesterday, in the bay area. Her illness really took me by surprise, and hit me hard. She died at 49, leaving behind her 5 year-old son, Skyler. Ronna really meant a lot to me : she was another Mom to me; she was like a sister; and she was a friend.

• I met Ronna when I was 15, and I think she hugged me that very first day. And she never let a visit go by without giving me a hug.
• She would call me on the phone just to tell me "she loved me."
• I started my first missionary discussions at her house, and she was always there to answer any questions I had.
• In high school, her house was like my 2nd home.
• She loved being a Mother. I once asked her if she could do anything different in her life, what would she do, and she replied, "I would have more children. I really think that is the greatest thing I've done." Who knew that years later she would have Skyler?
• I always think of her in pink, wearing her strands of pearls. She had an angelic way about her.

I wasn't able to attend the funeral, but I went out to visit her a few weeks ago, and am so grateful that I did. Even though she wasn't healthy, she was still wearing her silky pink robe and pearls, like nothing was gonna keep her down. I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to have such a strong and beautiful woman in my life, for 16 years. I only wish I could have kept her longer!

My friend Annie, was able to attend her funeral, and she wrote down some beautiful lessons learned. I'm going to copy them into my blog, because I want to remember these things in my life, as well. Thanks, Annie!
"We attended a funeral today for Ronna Skarda--a beautiful, sweet, wonderful woman, who died prematurely from cancer at 49 years old. This may sound strange, but I actually enjoy funerals. Having faith in eternal life seems to buffer the sadness and almost (almost) makes it seem joyous, especially in thinking of the reunion on the other side. The reality of those left behind, however, is poignant and sharp and can be devastating. I love to celebrate that person's life and hear the wonderful stories and anecdotes. Funerals tend to buoy me up and give me a more clear perspective on life and love.

What I learned from Ronna today:

1. motherhood is a gift, an incredibly precious gift! She cherished being a mother and there was no greater role in her eyes. As her daughter put it, Ronna "started early and ended late!" She was a mother at 15 years old (and before that to her little sisters) and had Skyler when she was in her mid-forties. It was the only thing she wanted to do and she put her whole heart into it!
2. tell your children (and others) often how much you love them. Ronna wrote these beautiful, heartfelt, very personal letters to her children and always expressed her love for them. It made me want to put more thought into my notes and conversations.
3. discuss the eternal aspect of your relationship with your children. Ronna told her children that they were best friends in the pre-existence and that she came first so that she could be their mom. Isn't that so sweet!? I love that knowledge that our spirits are so connected and will be forever. I often feel that deeper, spiritual connection with my own parents and with my children and I want to acknowledge that and cultivate it! We can (and should) have a deep and spiritual bond and friendship with our kids.
4. the first four minutes after your husband gets home are crucial--they set the tone for the rest of the evening! (john loved this one!) Ronna taught her daughter to cherish her relationship with her spouse and to greet him with enthusiasm and make him the focal point when he gets home from work with a peaceful and pleasant atmosphere (for at least four minutes!) Ain't that the truth!? It can change their whole mood! Ronna would even hurry and hang up the phone with her daughter if she could hear that her son-in-law had just got home. So cute! (I bet she put lipstick on too!)
5 thru 10... love life, love others, be grateful, be happy, be prayerful, and live each day like it's your last!"